Could someone please just send me some messages and make me feel better? I don’t care what it is, just please do it.
- Q 1: How did you guys form?
- Louis: It was quite strange actually; we met on a forum for young men with pigeon fetishes. Niall began writing self help songs on his guitar and we’d all Skype each other and sing them. Next thing we knew we were in a band.
- Q 2: So you entered X Factor as solo artists?
- Liam: X Factor? No, we don’t know where this rumour has come from. There was a talent contest for all the Pigeon Loving is Erotic Boys (PLEBs) and we entered that as a five-piece and came sixth out of eight. We were over the moon.
- Q 3: Did you know each other before?
- Harry: Yes we used to meet up every Wednesday evening and look at pictures of a pigeon named Kevin.
- Q 4: What advice did Simon Cowell give you?
- Zayn: He told us to never be ourselves, to hide all aspects of our personalities, be violent and to stop all relations with pigeons. We’re gutted.
- Q 5: What are your roles within the band?
- Harry: I’m the ugly one.
- Niall: I’m the English one.
- Zayn: I like to punch things.
- Liam: I also like to provoke mindless violence.
- Louis: I’m the manly one.
- Q 6: What’s it like having all the crowds and screaming girls?
- Niall: We get a little arsy about it actually; we find they scare off the pigeons.
- Q 7: Do you have Simon Cowell’s phone number?
- Louis: Simon doesn’t use phones. He communicates through messages delivered by masked horsemen.
- Q 8: Would you date a fan?
- Liam: Yes. I’d date all the fans, all together at the same time. I’d video everything I did with them and then post it on the internet straight away. That’s the kinda guy I am.
- Q 9: Do you have girlfriends?
- Harry: We can’t answer that, last time we did Kevin the Pigeon was put on suicide watch.
- Q 10: What makes you so huge?
- Niall: I dunno really, (pulls down trousers) is it really that huge?
Well, I would much rather look like this:
Than like this…
& by the way… boring is absolutely no way to describe preppy. Take a look at the differences in color of the two pictures I just posted. Classy isn’t boring, anon. Trashy is boring, because that’s what a lot of teenagers are, nowadays.
Sorry I’m not sorry.